you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
