But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How does it feel to date your dad?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
