I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
