Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
