i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
time to smoke my breakfast
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
