The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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