omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
