So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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