it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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