Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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