All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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