If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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