I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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