Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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