i barfeds in our rink
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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