hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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