I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
