drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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