Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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