The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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