so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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