I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
