you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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