No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
