I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
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Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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