we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
