I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
