My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize