"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You may now shotgun with the bride
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
