I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
