I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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