sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
send nudes
from the living room?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
