If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
