vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
