The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
