After last night, I could never be a politician.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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