she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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