if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
