remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he puts the penis in happiness.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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