If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
