i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
