I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
is it fun? or sober?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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