First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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