I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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