i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize