I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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