youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
