so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
