I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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