Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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