listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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