So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
