I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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