My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
