why didn't you poke me back
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
