ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
