So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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